Daily Massage – Dee’s Journey Day 10

Day 10

No headache, no overwhelming fatigue. Feeling braver this morning than yesterday. Yes, there are downsides to this process but it makes me wonder if I had pushed back at the pain three years ago if I would have had less during that time. I’ll never know but I do wonder.

Saw Vanessa – or rather – felt Vanessa doing things to my foot. She is, with my consent and encouragement, being more aggressive with pressure and technique. She is using more tools which allow for more texture and pressure – my tactile responses vary quite a bit depending on how/what she is using. I say ‘felt’ because I find I am distracted by keeping my eyes open and give more accurate responses by having my eyes closed. A big indicator of physical/emotional stress for me is a feeling of wetness around my right eye. I do wonder if anyone else out there has this. Anyway, depending on the amount of pressure and the length of time she’s been working on my foot, this increases.  Along with the bonfires she lights in my foot, my face goes from a general sense of dampness around my eye to a feeling of drops. These sensations also increase in area usually starting by moving down my face. I rubbed my eye raw at first; now I pretty much ignore it since I know it’s not real. A curious thing is that if I’m sweaty enough to have actual moisture running down my face I can feel that too; as though I have two layers of sensation.

Once again the ‘bonfire’ subsided soon after I left the massage room. I’m feeling a lot more in my entire leg – mostly a burning. I’m tolerating it better than I did at first; it’s now a familiar ‘old friend’ (!). I do hope this return to burning all the time and the fatigue eventually go away. We’ll see.